Connected
by Ruby-Wednesday
Summary: They were highschool sweethearts,madly in love. College and insecurities caused them to drift apart. One night,at a gig in a seedy Seattle club,they reunite and reconnect.One-shot for Tattward & Inkella Contest. A/H.OOC. E/B. M for language and lemons.


**Tattward & Inkella One-Shot Contest**

**Title: Connected**

**Your pen name: Ruby_Wednsday**

**Characters: Edward and Bella**

**Disclaimer: Twilight and it's characters do not belong to me. No copyright infringement intended.**

**To see other entries in the Tattward & Inkella Contest, please visit the C2 page:**

**www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/Tattward_and_Inkella_Contest/71624/**

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Summary: Edward and Bella were high school sweethearts who drifted apart. At a gig months later, they reunite and reconnect.

A/N: This one-shot is rated 'M' for language, underage drinking and scenes of a sexual nature. I recommend that you click the ¾ setting so that the formatting reads better.

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_**Edward Cullen**_

It was the kind of place that made you feel dirty. Just being inside the cracked walls and under the low ceilings made you want to bathe in a vat of antiseptic lotion. _The Push _was an underground club and not in a good way; that illicit undiscovered way. I had to walk down twelve stone steps to get in here, holding onto a shaky, sticky railing so I wouldn't lose my balance in the dark. The lights flashed in a way that was more dark than light and the thick smoke was a dull grey.

The clientele seemed to prefer it like that anyway; all hidden and vague. They seemed dirty too, with their tight jeans and ironic t-shirts and not caring whether or not they shaved or brushed their hair. I'm no exception to that trend, but to see it in excess was a little disconcerting. The night had barely begun, the shitty warm-up band were still doing their lame thing on stage, but the place was filling up fast. People milled around, drinking or laughing or being sad together.

It's funny that these places never seemed so desperate before. Maybe it was better when I wasn't alone.

I found a good place to stand and sip my beer; under a beam, near the back wall. I knew that as the night went on, that wall would drip with sweaty condensation and I wouldn't be able to stomach leaning against it. But for now, it was adequate. I'm tall enough so the small stage was clearly visible. But more importantly, I had a clear view of the door. The crowds didn't matter, as long as I could still see what I came here for.

-*-

_We met in a crowded place, one that was clean and bright and brimming with youthful naiveté. It was like something from a movie. Both grabbing for the flier at the same time and feeling that little spark when our fingers touched. Some cute but awkward flirting happened and we agreed to go to the show together. She didn't want to go alone. I wanted to go with someone who cared. It was everything we hoped it would be - raw and exciting and new. I found her hand on the thronged dance floor and refused to let go. The following Monday, we held hands and navigated that crowded hallway together._

-*-

Some chick beside me prattled in my ear. She had blood red lips that left stains on her cloudy glass and matted blonde hair with growing out ginger roots. Straight vodka was her drink of choice and I could smell the burning-nose smell seeping out though her pores. She kept talking and babbling but I didn't answer her. I didn't even look at her. It worked out well because she didn't care if I listened or not.

-*-

_We talked all the time, listening and the fighting to get a word in edgeways. She had this enraptured look on her face when I got all passionate and worked up about music. She loved it too, she just needed someone to guide her. And I loved to hear her talk and see her reactions and every word she said managed to capture my interest. The only time we didn't talk was when we were kissing, and we loved that too._

-*-

My eyes were fixed tight on the door. That tense nervous feeling made my muscles tight and my drink hard too swallow. Some out of date loser with a ten inch mohawk blocked my view for a minute and I wanted to rip his head off with my bare hands. Faceless people filed through the entrance. I hated them all because they weren't her. She had to be coming. Her father had even said so. He sounded reluctant and hopeful and disappointed all at once but he told me, because even Charlie had to know we were meant to be together.

Anxiousness threatened to overtake me because the band was due to start and the doors would close soon. But then I saw her. Still the same but also different after all these months. She looked unsure and kind of excited as she passed by the ticket cubby. Her hair was loose and her dress was dark but that didn't really register.

All I saw was the fullness of her lips and the depth of her eyes and that familiar gorgeous face. I stared at her and wondered why the room hadn't come to stand-still. Why every guy in the place wasn't rushing to buy her a drink and covering hard-ons. I stared and I was exultant just to finally be in the same room again and see my Bella in the flesh.

-*-

_She was always the quiet girl with the quirky edge. The one who scribbled in notebooks and slipped under the radar. I was the boy who retained enough mystery to hide all his flaws. From the first minute I really looked at her, I wondered how I'd never seen her before. We only had eyes for each other and I knew deep down I 'd never want to see anyone else. _

-*-

But she didn't see me now and the disappointment was almost crippling. I don't know why I was hoping for some Hollywood eyes-meet-across-a-crowded-room bullshit, when I had deliberately stood in the shadows. I would have been nice though.

She headed straight to the bar, where I knew she was going to order some ridiculously girly drink. I couldn't understand why the bartender left her waiting so long. He must have been gay. Coincidentally, vodka-girl beside me went to the bar at the same time, I didn't notice her leave but I did notice how tatty she looked in comparison to Bella. After a lifetime, she got served and I expected her to turn around with some fruity looking concoction. Instead, Bella knocked back something brown and noxious and it looked completely fucking wrong.

-*-

_I liked beer but never enough to make me a write-off. I sipped Jameson when the occasion called for it. She never drank until we got together and quickly discovered she didn't like the taste of alcohol. Wine gave her a headache. Vodka made her weepy. Beer made her gag. She couldn't even tolerate the smell of whiskey. I let her try them all and put her to bed and held her hair back when she puked. She finally discovered that those girly artificially coloured drinks were all she could manage. Two or three would make her tipsy and confident. Four or five, and she would be tactile and sloppy with her kisses and pull me into the backseat because we couldn't make it home._

-*-

The look on her face when she downed that drink was not the Bella I knew. From this angle, I could see that her collarbones were sharper, her cheeks were a little gaunt and her eyes weren't actually that warm now. They looked almost dead. She held herself away from the girls she came in with, as if she actually wanted to be alone. One of them tugged on her arm. They held hands and I was jealous at her friend tugged her along. That should be my job. I prayed she would come towards me.

She didn't.

The amps roared and then the crowd did. The strobe lights got more erratic and the people jumped in anticipation. The music got louder and better. The singer wailed and the guitars set the pace and the beat of the drums went into your bones.

Bella dived into the crowd and I lost sight of her. The mosh swallowed her hole and I strained my neck trying to find her again. I searched through that mass of twisting people but I couldn't find her at all.

-*-

_Summer came. I graduated and she had another year of school. We both knew the separation was coming and it lived in the corner like a circus elephant. We didn't know how to be apart. I tried to bring it up once or twice. I wanted to buy her a cell phone and looked the shortest route up on mapquest. Every time I mentioned it, she would cling to my neck like a limpet. She distracted me with desperate kisses. I touched her like I wanted to break her but was terrified that I would. _

-*-

Vodka-girl came back and planted herself beside me again. Notice how she didn't have the manners to offer me a drink. She shouted something about the music but I pretended not to hear. She touched my arm but I shook her off. There have been a hundred girls like her in different incarnations. At parties, clubs, classes and concerts. I tried to be nice to a couple of them. I even tried to want one or two. None of them could hold a candle to the spark Bella ignited in me.

I could feel alcohol-soaked breath on my neck and I fought the urge to bat her away. She was searching the crowd too - for a dude named Laurent that she was hoping to make jealous. I grabbed her by the shoulders and placed her in front of me. That way, I didn't have to talk to her and she just kept on gulping her vodka and swaying to the music. From this viewpoint, I could see her thong sticking up from the back of her jeans and the ropey white bonds where her hair extensions had grown out. It looked like maggots had hatched there.

-*-

_We sat beside each other in biology and I loved the feel of her hair sliding along my shoulder when she moved. She used to tug on mine when we kissed and it hurt in the best possible way. She would straddle my lap and hide us behind a mahogany curtain. I played with those soft curls when she lay with her head on my chest or my thighs or wherever she felt comfortable. I would tangle it in my fingers and grasp it too tight when she was on her knees in front of me._

-*-

My eyes finally found Bella in the crowd and they instant they did, I wondered how it took me so long. She had managed to fight her way to the front of the stage and the lights were brighter there. They shone on her like a beacon calling me home. They made a halo beam around her head. They flashed red and became the firelight inviting me into hell.

She moved with confidence and a raw kind of grace. Her hands were above her head, twisting and clapping in time to the music. Her legs bounced and her hips shook and her hair fanned out around her shoulders. I had never been so fucking entranced in all my life.

Bella was lost in the music and I was lost in her.

She danced and swayed. She turned her head to the side briefly, and I caught this tranquil expression on her face that nearly killed me. My hand idled unconsciously against my chest.

The band hit a few bum notes and sometimes the drummer was a beat behind. She didn't notice or maybe she didn't care. The girls she came in with were beside her but not with her. The moved and shook their asses as a group. Bella was not part of it and made no move to include herself.

-*-

_We used to go out together all the time. She had never seen a live band before our first date and when the music started and the energy soared she looked at me as if I had shown her the Holy Grail. I held our hands entwined in the air. Our bodies pushed and pressed together, hot and sweaty, in the crowd. She would look back over her shoulder to see if I liked it too. We went to the movies and would look at each other to see if we laughed at the same jokes. I would watch her face at dinner to see the little smiles of appreciation or the way her nose wrinkled when she found something distasteful._

-*-

I had to go to her.

At vodka-girl, I made a vague hand gesture to let her know I was going to the bar. She nodded back distractedly, busy trying to eye-fuck the drummer. No wonder he was messing up; she looked like she was about to have a seizure. Or maybe an orgasm. Neither would be a pretty sight.

I forced my way into the throng of people moving and jerking on the dancefloor. Trying to get to the front was like swimming against a current but I pushed on. In these situations, elbows and shoulders are your greatest weapons and I used them as best I could. Some bitch in spiked heels stood on my toe. I might have knocked her beer in retaliation. I felt someone's sweaty arm against my neck and someone's dreads slapped me in the face and I almost wanted to gag.

I pushed and shoved and it's fucking clichéd to even think it, but I would have walked over hot coals just to be closer to her.

After what felt like an eternity, I reached the area in front of the tiny stage. It was hot and packed tight and I swear I could feel her _essence_ just by being near to her. Her skin was just as pale and touchable and her neck still had that delicate shape to it. For a moment, I pressed myself close to her. I put my hands on her hips and they fit the same way they used to. Her shoulders were sharp against my chest and the curve of her ass was soft against my thighs. She smelt the same and felt the same - all warm and fruity and pliant. Her head moved to the side and I was overwhelmed so I pushed myself away from her before she could see me.

I knocked back two doubles in quick succession and went back to watching her from the shadows.

-*-

_The date was circled in red on the calendar in the kitchen. She was due to go see her mother two days before it. We didn't talk about the separation or what it would mean. I snuck into her bedroom and we clung to each other in the dark. We made love, frenzied and desperate, in her single bed and she left without saying goodbye. I went off to college with only half a heart and I never expected her to stay in Phoenix. She didn't call. I only had her Forks HS email address and my attempts at contact bounced back. Her father said she would call me if she wanted to and I should stop bugging him. I tried to enjoy college life but I missed her too much. _

_I hacked into my sister's account to look Bella up. Her old friends had reclaimed her as someone new and exciting. She went out and posted pictures where her smile never quite met her eyes. _

_We tried to move on but it didn't work. How could we be happy when I was alone and she was far away?_

-*-

My spot beside vodka-girl gave me the best view of my girl, so I went back there. Bella moved differently now - too aware of her body and her eyes open and darting around. Her frenetic actions were shaky and uneasy. She jerked away when some oaf almost fell on her. She winced when the guitarist emitted a particularly ears-splitting riff. She ran her hands through her hair and scrunched her eyes closed. Every inch of me felt tense and the damp walls were closing in.

She poked her friend and pointed towards the door. She walked away and off the dance floor. I wasn't about to make the same mistake twice.

-*-

_My cyber-stalking habit might have been unhealthy but it earned solid results. When I figured out she had come back to the North-West to scope out some colleges here, I sped back down to the home-town. Her father greeted me on the porch, unloaded shotgun in hand, and looked at me with a mixture of disgust and admiration. He finally took pity on my lovelorn self and told me she mentioned going to see some band in The Push tonight. He wanted the same thing I wanted : to get her back._

-*-

Bella slipped out a side door, into an alley and I followed her. Outside, the night was dark and crisp. The sky was heavy with promises and threats. The door closed behind me and the wailing music became heartbeat-like thumps. Inane chatter and laughter drifted down from the smokers around the corner. The smell of meat and grease wafted from the kebab restaurant next door and the ground was littered with crates and debris; broken glass and puke that there was no point in cleaning because it would just be replaced the next night.

I saw her, leaning against a crate with her eyes closed and her body small and frail. My hands shook as I walked towards her so I shoved them in my pockets. I exhaled, long and deep, and said the one word I had been dying to say for months now.

"Bella."

"Edward." She kept her head down and her hair blocked my view of her face. "I knew it was you."

"You did?" My voice was strangely strangled as I crouched down in front of her.

"Yeah. Inside. I knew I could feel you."

"I had to see you -" I tried to explain but she cut me off.

"I could feel your eyes on me but I thought I was imagining it. Then you were behind me and I'd know your smell and your touch and the shape of your hands anywhere. And then you were gone again and I thought I was going crazy."

"I missed you so much, Bella."

She finally looked at me then, her expression fierce and her eyes fiery. I stared up at her, begging her to see the truth in my statement. I prayed she would hear me out and give me a chance to make amends and re-connect.

I didn't expect her to launch herself at me the way she did.

Her lips crashed against me, landing somewhere on my jaw and then hungrily making their way over to my waiting mouth. She kissed me with force and passion and I had to brace my knees and grab her waist just to keep us upright.

She smelled like whiskey and smoke and that zesty perfume she always wore. Her hands went straight to my hair, tugging harder than ever before, as her mouth gasped and probed against mine.

I had so many words to say and amends to make but Bella was kissing me and touching me. She was here and so was I, and I figured we had plenty of time for that later.

She pushed me back against the brick wall. The impact hurt my back and we sent crates clattering to the ground but I was too wrapped up in her to care. Her tongue was in my mouth, salty and sweet and wild. I groped her ass and caressed her cheek just because I could.

Panting, she pulled her mouth away and her wet lips glided along my stubbled jaw. My knee slipped between her legs and she rubbed herself against me. My mouth found her neck to nibble on. Her knee went up and around my waist as the first drop of moisture from the sky landed on my face.

"Bella," I whispered, realising this was too much and too soon.

She shut me up with another deep kiss and her fingers struggled frantically with my belt buckle.

"Wait," I said. Not like this. More raindrops bounced around us and her body trembled against mine.

"No." Her voice was small and determined. "Lets just get this over with."

-*-

_I booked a hotel room for prom night and we decided it would be the time and place for our first time. We were growing frustrated with hands and mouths and fumbling. We were tired of waiting. I picked up condoms when I went to get my tux. She bought sexy underwear the same colour as her dress and drove a hundred miles to get a decent bikini wax. _

_I knew that, because she told me the night before prom. She came to visit me and there was no-one else in the house. And then, we just couldn't wait another night. We kissed and caressed and even giggled a little. We were excited and scared of the newness. Her body amazed me and her eyes were wide when she looked at me. I made her come with my fingers and tongue before I entered her. Our gazes were locked the entire time. We were in love and we made love on the plush carpet in my room. She was nervous and a little uncomfortable and I was too fast and I didn't know how to move. But it was perfect because it was us. And I knew then there I could never feel as good as I did when I came inside her._

_We strolled into the lame prom the next night. I felt about ten feet tall and she had this glow about her. You couldn't have found two happier people if you tried. We danced close for maybe twenty minutes before running off to make use of that hotel room._

-*-

The skies opened and icy rain poured down around us. I pulled away from Bella as if she scalded me and she looked more confused than I could ever imagined.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I had to fight to stop myself yelling at her.

"Isn't that what you came here for?" she asked, excited and cool at the same time. "For closure or some shit like that. A fuck for old time's sake."

It hurt, _physically hurt_, to hear her speak like that. I took a step backwards and felt like a weary old soul.

"I could never think of you like that."

"Then why did you follow me out here?" Her voice was barely audible above the pounding of the rain and the drums inside.

"I miss you. I need to see you." _I still love you._

Bella was shaking from the cold and the rain and probably from the emotional turmoil I was inflicting on her.

"Fuck," I said. "You're freezing. Do you have a coat?"

She shook her head, wet tendrils of hair slapped against her face, and she wrapped her arms around her.

"We need to get out of the rain," I continued. " My place is nearby. We can dry off. Talk."

"No," she interrupted. "I've got a hotel room just around the corner. It's nothing fancy, not like what you're used to but it's close."

"Lead the way." I offered my hand and felt incredibly fucking vulnerable waiting to see if she accepted it.

She did and we walked in the rain and the dark back to her room. I hadn't been that happy in months.

The room was stylish around twenty years ago and we shuffled in awkwardly, leaving a sloshy trail on the threadbare carpet. She kicked off her wet shoes and looked down at her feet. I perched on the edge of the bed and prepared to say everything I needed to tell her.

"Bella," I said. "Before we go any further, I need to tell you one thing."

"What is it?" She looked up, full of hope and trepidation.

"I never stopped loving you."

She blinked tears from her eyes and her shoulders sagged. Her damp dress proved to be a distraction as it clung to every curve and line of her body that I had so desperately missed. Her lipstick was smeared from our kisses and eyeliner made kohl panda eyes on her face.

"But you left me." Her voice was tired and unsure.

"You left me too," I reminded her. Not to hurt her but to make her see how we were the same.

Tears streaked down black over her face and I opened my arms because it was the natural thing to do. Bella threw herself into my embrace and I held her tight against me.

"I thought it was the right thing to do. I didn't want to hold you back or stop you enjoying the whole college thing. And I'm selfish. I thought it wouldn't hurt so bad if I did it first. I was afraid to wait around for you to move on and leave me behind," she admitted.

"I never left you behind. Even when we were apart and I was trying to make the most of the college thing, I couldn't enjoy anything because -"

"Because you weren't there," she finished my sentence. "I go out with the girls and I wonder if you would like the movie or the band. I look for your face in the crowd and it hurts my heart when I can't find you."

"Why didn't you try?" My voice was demanding and desperate. "You never got in touch with me. I tried to call you and I wrote letters and you never contacted me."

"I told you," she said. "I was afraid. But that doesn't mean I stopped caring. If anything I cared too much. I went out to gigs and clubs trying to recreate the way were together but it never worked! I just wanted to stay connected to you somehow. Why do you think I came back here to look at colleges?"

"To be near your dad again?"

"No, Edward. To be near _you." _ She looked up at me as if something just occurred to her. "Wait, how did you know where I'd be tonight?"

"Charlie told me. I drove down to your old house and I begged and he told me."

"But how did you know I was in town?"

"Um…I hacked into Alice's Facebook account and saw on your page that you were coming here." My words were rushed and embarrassed.

"How often did you do that?"

"More than I want to admit."

"Oh."

"Sorry," I said. "Does that freak you out?"

"No. But it probably should," she replied. "Why didn't you friend me or poke me or anything?"

"Same reason you never called or texted me," I answered. "Bella, I had to go away to college. You_ chose_ to go back to your mother's without telling me. I didn't know how you felt."

"My feelings never changed." She was still crying softly and sniffling into my chest. "We both fucked up didn't we?"

"We really did." I could feel her shaking and cold in my arms. "Bella, you need to dry off. You'll get sick if you stay in those wet clothes." I didn't want to let her out of my sight but I needed her to be well.

"Okay." She disentangled herself from my arms and padded towards the bathroom. "Don't move. I'll be right back."

Bella tossed me a towel from a neat pile on the dresser and closed the door softly behind her. Physically, I was freezing cold but a warm rush spread through my veins. My fingers were clumsy as I unlaced my shoes and peeled off my socks to place them by the radiator. I used the scratchy towel to dry off my face and hair and lay back on the bed. The rain pounded on the window and I looked down at my splattered shirt trying to figure out which drops were rain and which were Bella's tears.

-*-

_The first time she cried in front of me, we were watching The Champ. She sniffled into our popcorn and wiped her nose on her sleeve. I didn't understand why she was so upset when she knew what was coming but I felt kinda proud to share it with her. I held her and did my best to make her laugh and kissed her tears away._

_The next time was when she failed a math test because her mom kept her up all night, talking on the phone about money and boyfriend worries._

_There were other times she knew I saw - after our first big fight and when I played that song she loved on my piano._

_There were times she cried when she thought I couldn't see - that last night in her bedroom and our first night in mine._

_I only cried once. Mid-September, when I realised she wasn't going to get in touch and no amount of alcohol or trying to forget was going to make it any better._

-*-

"Edward?" Her voice was muffled by the wooden door. "Will you close your eyes before I come out?"

"Why?"

"Well, I wasn't expecting company and I didn't exactly bring any pyjamas…" she trailed off.

"You don't need to be shy in front of me, Bella."

She peeped out the door, looking more like the girl I knew before. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail and her face was scrubbed clean and fresh. Little smudges of black remained around her eyes, making them seem deeper and more defined, and her cheeks were flushed.

I smiled at her with love and reassurance.

When she stepped out, my jaw hit the floor and my cock felt like it was about to hit the ceiling.

She was wearing a black tank top, no bra, and a tiny pair of short-panty things to match. The flesh and the curves that had haunted my dreams were taunting me in person. Her bare arms and shapely legs and the outline of her nipples were exposed and calling to me.

But that's not what drove me crazy.

There was this little bare sliver of skin where her tank and shorts didn't quite meet. And on this tantalising strip of white flesh, just below her hipbone, was the hint of a black tattoo.

Bella must have felt my eyes on it because she began to pull down the hem of her top. I shook my head and beckoned her closer. She kneeled beside me on the bed and my hand shot out to feel her.

Her skin was soft and damp and turned into gooseflesh at my touch. The black ink was circled and knotted, vaguely Celtic and possibly tribal. I traced the design with my index finger, following the shape and the lines.

"I went with Renee and a couple girls from school. They had this ridiculous plan to get matching bellybutton piercing but I wasn't into that idea. But I saw this and I liked it and -" Bella was looking down at me, rambling nervous and quick.

I pressed my other index finger against her lips to silence her. Scrambling to my knees, I faced her and yanked my shirt over my head. Just my fucking luck that it got caught around my neck but I heard her gasp and her hand was on my chest by the time I pulled it off.

"We match," she said simply. Her expression was kind of awed as her black chipped nail began to follow the outline. The tingling sensation travelled all over my skin and she just had to be able to feel my heart pounding.. The design on my pec had harsher lines and sharper angles. Hers was softer and more fluid. But for all intents and purposes they were the same.

"We went to Vegas for Emmett's twenty-first," I said by way of explanation.

"I liked the lines and the knots," she continued. "You can't tell where it begins and ends."

"It's inevitable that you end up in the same place."

"It's all-"

"Connected," I concluded.

"No matter what," she added. "I got mine where no-one else would see it."

"I got mine close to my heart."

I could feel her lips on me then, pressed against the hard skin on my chest where my heart was thundering. The tip of her tongue traced the inky pattern and my hand gripped her hip. I cupped her chin, urging her to let me look her in the eye.

"Say it again, Edward," she said. I knew what she needed to hear.

"I never stopped loving you."

But she didn't say it back.

We were kneeling on the bed, facing each other and the only sounds were the rain and our breaths. I ducked my head and pressed my lips to hers. The first kiss was small and sweet. She sighed and kissed me back, gentle and loving.

The next one was longer and more passionate, as she moved softly against my waiting hands were on my chest and shoulders. I caressed her hips and the small of her back. There was space between our bodies and our kisses were almost chaste. It was reminiscent of those initial careful touches on our first dates. We went on like that for some time and I knew it was real and I had her back.

Bella began to get impatient. As soon as her fingers knotted in my hair, I could tell she wanted more. She kissed me harder and sucked my lower lip into her warm mouth. She shuffled closer and pushed herself against me. Her breasts were soft and her nipples were hard against my chest. I gripped her hips and pulled them flush against mine.

The tongue that was on my chest just minutes before was licking at my lips then. I parted my mouth and in it slipped, wet and soft. She tasted like toothpaste and the saltiness of rain and tears. I knew I tasted like whiskey and beer and I smiled against her delicious lips, remembering the time she told me she found that a turn on. Her tongue glided along my teeth and the fleshy part of my gums. I kissed her back, deep and wet, and our mouths were open and tongues tangled and licked.

I got all caught up in the passion of it all and Bella pushed me backwards onto the bed. I landed on the pillows with a thud. I kind of laughed because this amazing tiny girl could overpower me. Then she was on me, with her legs either side of waist and looking down with intense and familiar passion on her face and longing in her eyes.

"You still feel the same," she murmured as nimble fingers danced up and down my body, reacquainting themselves with the contours of my chest and abs.

"You're thinner," I replied. My hands almost fit right around her waist now and she cocked her head to the side in mock offence.

"I'll have you know, Edward Cullen," she said, with a twinkle in her eye. "That I have gone up a full cup size since I saw you last."

I eyed her chest appreciatively and snaked my hand up under her shirt. Bella grabbed my wrists and placed them above me head before I could reach my destination. If she wanted to play, that was more than fine with me. I smirked up at her as she bent over and kissed me again.

These kisses were more like the heated makeout sessions we used to share in the back of my car…or the back row of the movies…or the school library…or her couch. They were needy and urgent and felt so fucking good. It was like starting all over again but better, because we definitely knew what we were doing now.

Bella sprawled on top of me, legs entwined with mine. She kissed me deep; open-mouths and tongues and licking and sucking and teeth. My hands and fingers could roam all over her body. I re-learned the feel of her - the softness of her thighs, the sharp points of her spine, the curve of her ass and the weight of her breasts on my chest.

She lightly touched my face and my body and I hissed into her mouth when she rolled my nipple between her fingers. She squirmed and rubbed herself against me and my jeans were tight and straining. Our breathing grew louder and heavier as I worked my hands under her shirt. My fingers ambled along her smooth back and her flat stomach and over her ribs before I finally palmed her breasts.

It had been too long and she felt too good, so I touched and tweaked and kneaded her breasts like a pubescent kid who just saw his first pair of tits. Bella didn't complain though. She moaned into my mouth and nibbled on my lower lip. Her eyes were closed and when I grabbed the hem of her tank, I had to know for sure.

"Is this okay?" I asked, my voice low and laboured.

"Yeah," she whispered back and helped me pull it over her head.

My lips went to her neck and I trailed wet kisses along her collarbone and lower. We were skin on skin, damp and warm, as she pushed my hair back off my forehead and pulled my earlobe between her teeth.

"Wait," Bella muttered in my ear and I froze. "I have another confession to make."

She sat up, leaned across me and began rifling in a duffel bag on the ground. I kissed the back of her neck and stroked her lower back because she was always ticklish there.

She had a serious look on her face and some navy fabric bunched in her hands when she resurfaced. To look her in the eyes and not stare at her bare breasts, was an immense challenge.

"I lied," she said. "About not having anything to sleep in. I wear this every night and I didn't want you to see it."

My old track t-shirt fell onto my chest - faded and threadbare with the name _Cullen_ printed on the back. I felt choked and overcome with emotion. This beautiful barely dressed girl, was perched on my erection and telling me she slept every night in my t-shirt. I grinned up at her like a fool and she smiled shyly back down at me.

"Thanks for telling me." But I needed to hear more. "Is there anything else you want to confess?"

She exhaled and I was momentarily entranced by the way her breasts jiggled. She wasn't lying about going up a size.

"Yeah," she said. "I'm really glad you have stalker tendencies." Bella kissed me again and I could feel that she meant more but couldn't say it yet. I tossed the t-shirt to the floor because she sure as fuck wouldn't need it tonight. I would show her how much I loved her, missed her, needed her and she would say those words in her own good time.

Her lips were frantic and hungry against mine. She circled her hips and her hands were all over me. She was ready for more, I could tell by the way she ground the warm place between her legs on my cock. I needed more - more Bella and more us - so I began to rub my fingers along her inner thighs and suck the sensitive spot on her neck.

She moaned softly and flexed her hips harder, which I loved. But as I inched my fingers higher and closer she pushed them away, which I did not like.

"Hey," I murmured in her ear. "Too fast?"

I could feel her cheek burn beside mine and she gave a slight shake of her head.

"What then?" I couldn't resist pushing up against her.

"It's not like I was planning this," she whispered. "So I haven't, um, shaved or waxed or anything."

I swallowed down a chuckle at her absurdity, not wishing to embarrass her. That didn't matter to me, I was already fucking thrilled to be close to her at all.

"Bella." I brushed past her surprisingly soft curls. "You're perfect as you are."

I found where she was warm and slick and rubbed my finger all along her. She gasped as I teased her and her fingers flew went straight to crotch. Her small hand grasped my hardness through the denim and I never imagined such an inexact action could feel so fucking good.

Two of my knuckles rubbed her clit and she moaned loud on top of me. My fingers were wet and slippery and I thought about what it would be like to taste her again. I wanted to make her feel good. But then she was unzipping my jeans and pushing them down and off. My boxers were gone too and my cock stood free and straining to get into her.

I kept circling her clit and playing with her soft pink flesh. But my other hand drifted down along her skin and grasped those little shorts by the waist. I pulled them down, fingers digging into flesh, and she wriggled out of them.

Then we were naked and exposed and it wasn't the first time but I nearly felt like it. There was nothing between us and everything in front of us. I took in the view of her lovely naked body, better than my memories and dreams. She looked down at me with the sweetest smile ever.

Then she started teasing the tip of my cock with the warm wet flesh, sliding herself up an down the length. It was torture and wonder rolled into one. I was rubbing her thighs and enjoying the view and marvelling at how I got to be so lucky.

"I'm still on the pill," she said huskily. Good. Because the same condom had been in my wallet since she left and I was pretty sure it was passed it's expiration date. She was waiting for me to say something.

"There hasn't been anyone else," I replied.

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Me neither."

Bella hovered over me and we were both breathing loud and deep. She reached up and pulled her hair out of it's ponytail. It fell wild and loose around her white shoulders. She leaned down, kissed the tattoo on my chest and took me inside of her.

She was hot and tight and slick and so fucking _right. _

Bella gasped and almost winced. She wasn't exactly comfortable but she just gripped my hand and stayed completely still for a moment. I held her hips and rubbed comforting little ovals on the ink there. I looked her straight in the eye, trying to tell her without words how much this meant to me. With the cutest expression on her face, she began to move ever so slightly and she just felt so good around me.

I lay back and watched her - the sway of her hips and the bounce of her breasts and the pout of her lips. But it wasn't enough. She was too far away.

I sat up, looked her in the eye and kissed her on the mouth. I breathed her name and wrapped my arms around her back to hold her tight against me. Her knees dug into my sides and she started to grind her hips with more urgency than before. Her breasts were pretty much level with my face and what could I do but open my mouth and lave attention on them. I kissed them wet and sloppy, sucking and nibbling on those tight pink nipples.

Her fingernails dug into my shoulders and my hands were splayed out on her butt. We were moaning names and curses and pleadings. We were rocking in this intimate rhythm that was new and old all at once, all tangled up in each other.

But I still wanted to be closer and deeper, so I took hold of her knees and wrapped those creamy thighs around my back. She sank lower onto me, her hands in my hair and on my neck. To look in those warm brown eyes was overwhelming but I couldn't tear myself away. Our breath mingled and our kisses were gasping and messy with tongue and wet and teeth and lips everywhere. Her hair bounced off both our shoulders and I twisted some of it around my fingers.

It all felt so indescribably good, the togetherness and closeness and tenderness, that I wanted it to last forever but I knew it couldn't. It had been too long and we were too good together.

Bella leaned back, bracing herself on my thighs and chewing on her lip. Her head was tossed back and her hair grazed the skin on my legs. At this angle, I was hitting that spot and she kept letting out these breathy moans at every thrust. I could see her back arch and her breasts bounce and watch my cock be shallow and deep inside her slick pink lips. I could touch her swollen nub and make her buck unconsciously on top of me.

But I couldn't really touch her or kiss her so I pulled her back up against me.

"I need you to be close to me," I kind of panted.

"Just…" she choked out. "Just hold me."

So I did. Bella kept making those eight-shaped circles with her hips and I was thrusting up into her. We were both close and nearly there and clinging to each other desperately. My back was slick with sweat and the rain I never dried off, so she couldn't get a grip without digging her nails in. I could feel the angry red lines form until she gave up and tugged on my hair instead.

Her movements grew wilder and her moans louder. She rolled her hips erratically her thighs were clamped tight around me. She rested her head on my shoulder and sucked and nipped on my neck. There was no space between our bodies. Her breasts were smashed against my chest and pelvis was pressed tight against mine. But I slid my hand in to play with her clit and used the other hand to pull her face to mine.

I kissed her deep and lost myself in sensation until I felt her hips jerk and her walls tighten. My name was on her lips in moans and shouts as she clenched and quivered and came around me.

And nothing would ever feel as good, or look as good, as Bella coming apart in my arms. So I held her too hard and moved with too much force and cursed too loud as I twitched and climaxed and spilled inside her.

We held each other just as tight while our breathing calmed and our bodies stopped shaking. I peppered kisses on her salty skin and she whispered sweet nonsense in my ear.

She slipped off me, but not away from me, and I collapsed back on the pillows with her hair fanned out on my chest. I used the towel she had given me to dry off to clean between her sticky thighs and pulled the comforter up over us. I could feel her shudder and sniffle beside me.

"Are you crying?" I asked, frozen and worried.

"Yes," she wept.

"Did…I do something?"

"No." She shook her head and nuzzled my chest. "These are happy tears."

-*-

_I couldn't pinpoint the moment I knew I loved her but I'd never forget the first time I said it. The sun was shining warm and we lay in soft grass surrounded by wildflowers. She trailed a daisy along the inside of my wrist and I watched the colours reflected in her hair. The words spilled off my lips and she looked amazed, then ecstatic as she repeated them back. We kissed triumphantly and in that moment, we were the only things on earth that mattered._

-*-

This time, we were wrapped in an ugly floral bedspread but the emotion meant just as much. For now, all that mattered was this closeness. This reconnection.

Tomorrow, we could make communication our number one priority and talk seriously about life and college and the future.

But for now, this was enough.

Our bodies were sweaty and tangled together. Her cheek was resting on the design on my chest and the sound of my heartbeat pounded in her ear. My leg was thrown up over hers. I had one hand in her hair and the other on the tattoo only I would see.

"I love you, Isabella Swan," I told her.

"I know you do," she sobbed. "I'm sorry I left like that."

"I'm sorry I didn't fight harder for you."

"I _love_ you," she said. "I never stopped and I never will."

"I love you too," I replied, heart soaring when she finally said the words. "And I'm never letting you go again."

* * *

_Thanks for reading! Sorry for any mistakes/typos/suckiness.__  
Please let me know what you thought!  
Don't forget to check out the other entries in this contest and show support to your favourites._


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